Luce

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Le Rose

I will go down

Maybe in flames, maybe in history

As the one who sought love so hard

She carried it in her arms

Like a bundle of roses.

While some give us the petals

Others only give us thorns

But to the ones who pull me out of my dark,

With whole bouquets, I shower, I adorn

And they take it

They take it all

And I wait patiently

For a sign,

That they’re ready to create with me

A whole garden

But instead

I watch as you let my rose petals wilt in your hands

Between your very finger tips

And I’m left with nothing

Except seeds to begin

All over again

-original photo taken in Burano, Venice, Italy

The light 

When things are good between us 

I open my eyes through flower framed lenses

The world is bright and alive

And I can breathe without trembling 

It’s blooming with growth and warmth 

My worries stay worries 

Instead of becoming monsters or other deviated forms 

Just thinking of your eyes 

Brings me the same serenity of staring at a blood orange sunrise 

Your smile’s almost too bright 

But it’s a sun I’m willing to stare into 

Even at risk of getting burned 

Cause even when things don’t work out

I realize it’s all lessons learned 

But I’m hoping you stick around 

Because I need more of your light 

I hate saying I need someone 

Cause my someone’s tend to leave 

But the way you fill my heart up

Is starting to help me believe 

The dark 

It changes like dawn to dusk

Yesterday I was laughing 

Yesterday I was throwing my head back and sighing at the sky 

Content and fulfilled to be

Today I can’t speak

I can smile and nod 

While tears well up in my eyes

Kind of for a reason 

Kind of for no reason at all 

Sometimes these gray days are accented with violent thunderstorms 

I can’t breathe 

I can’t think outside of the storm that’s passing over me 

The rain keeps falling from my eyes 

I try to just focus on being alive 

And the worst part is 

It’s like being buried alive

These feelings

These thoughts 

Are not part of me

They’re the dirt thrown on top of me

Crushing my chest so I can’t breathe 

Threatening my dreams

My happiness

My sanity 

Questioning everything I’ve worked for 

Questioning the line between who I am, who I can be, and what this cloud is making me out to be 

Im lost in it

Everyday I think of how much light I need

But there’s too much fear 

And I can’t tell if the fear is me or the storm or just a bad dream 

If only it didn’t feel this real 

Admit One

I’m issuing you a one way ticket 

To my heart 

If you accept,

This is only the start 

I was swimming with my head underwater 

But looking in your eyes 

I can breathe 

Thank you for showing me a universe 

In just a glimpse 

Of what I’ve been looking for,

Of how it’s supposed to be 

Full Circle

I don’t know if it’s karma

For the few broken hearts I’ve left unattended

Or revenge from all the petty men

I may have led on and played pretend with

But I’ve never sighed, pined, or cried

For one as much as you

I was afraid to like you

But you reached through my stone walls

And pushed through

You made me feel like I was at home and in heaven

Whenever locked inside your tight embrace

And I can’t believe I’m saying this

But I’d really give anything again just to see your face

I’d tell you I miss you

Mind, body and soul

I’d tell you to come home with me

And kiss away the damage you’ve left

In the forms of loneliness and a heart left cold

Or I’d look up into your brown eyes

And say nothing at all

Realizing this is only a dream

And really maybe it’s me that can’t bring myself to pick up the phone

And give you a call

The Crown of My Soul

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My hair is the crown of my soul!

When chopped by steel, it births new life

When pulled back, and concealed

It waits patiently, for the day it’ll be embraced again by sunlight

My hair is the crown of my soul

It represents the birth of nations new, mixed, and old

It’s been through wars of acceptance and identity

It’s been met with hatred, adoration, frustration, and envy

It’s been pulled, chopped, twisted, turned, bleached, and burnt away

But even so, it still finds away to spring out anyway

My hair is the crown of my soul

It may not be the fairest, it’s not the longest, it’s never been blonde

But it’s part of who I am, my essence,

and it’ll always, be mine.

 

 

 

 

tides

You look at me with private eyes 

In a way that’s just for me

Sparked by stolen kisses in shadows

By the crashing waves of the sea

Warmed by the way your touch lingers 

Long after you’ve gone 

Wistful in a crowd of people

In awe that you’ve already moved on 

Sent from above 

My sun continues to shine

Even when covered by clouds  

My arms still reach for what’s mine

Even when distance multiplies 

The journey may lead to an end

But finding solace within

Is truly the most precious Godsend 

When everything closes

And only windows remain 

I know I’m off better 

And my steps traveled

Were not in vain